Rebellion is an ongoing expression of the human will. Necessary for healthy character development is a good dose of discipline from a higher authority. Yet we cringe at our memories of discipline. It is humiliating, uncomfortable, and at times painful. But still I wonder: is there part of us that deep down secretly craves a good swat on the backside? Who would we be without the challenge of circumstances and the people who yield more power, knowledge, and capacity than we do? We’ve all met someone who is a product of limited discipline. They are self-centered, inconsistent, borderline annoying, insecure, and sometimes have a poor work-ethic. How could this be? After all, wouldn’t you suppose that human freedom unchecked promotes the opposite? If left with no constraints to our desire for autonomy, we should be confident and proficient individuals, right?
Well, discipline operates partially on the power of comparison. A parent is more powerful than their young children. The child experiences this power when they rebel against their parent’s rules. Once disciplined, they are reminded that in comparison to Mom or Dad, their freedom is more limited and are then forced into humble submission. It is an important lesson that needs to be learned: there always is and always will be someone who is more capable and powerful than YOU are (for our 2-year old son Christian, this lesson is recurring over, and over, and over, and…). Whether we realize it or not, we want to encounter these power brokers because they give us perspective to our own place in life by way of comparison. When we don’t see these people, we don’t know who we really are and what we really are made of. We get the sense from Christian that he wants to be disciplined because he loves the part when we make up. He will sometimes get in trouble for no reason, just to be disciplined. After time out, or some other disciplinary action, we always give X’s and O’s followed with a sincere ” I love you.” Sometimes, we can’t express these sentiments after our moment of parental guidance because he beats us to the punch, looking into our eyes with a hug and the adorable utterance, “I love you.” In the end, I think this discipline must be a reminder of his connection to us. The power brokers in his life love him. The result: self-confidence, respect for authority, and knowledge of where he fits in life at this stage.
What happens when you give a youth too much freedom and power early? They become arrogant and this overinflated view of self is based on a lie. Remember, the truth is that there is always someone who is more powerful and capable than you. But teach a youth boundaries and they will develop to respect authority and and hold it responsibly when they come of age. For this reason, the scripture says that an individual who is young in the faith must not be allowed to have authority because they will become conceited and “fall into condemnation.” (1 Tim. 3:6) and also, “pride goes before destruction” (Prov. 16:18). So in sum, no discipline = no sense of self (pride). No sense of self = destruction.
Daniel Flores Jr. 